Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Killer Crocs

There are times - they get more frequent as one grows older - when it is barely possible to believe one's own eyes. I felt like this when I started noticing grown adults, otherwise apparently of sound mind, walking around in hideously coloured perforated plastic kiddie clogs. It was like something out of Nathan Barley, Chris Morris's style mag satire, in which new crazes, each madder than the last, swept the office every week - tiny bicycles, tiny hats, that kind of thing. Anyway, these 'shoes' are apparently called Crocs. Today, my worst suspicions about them are confirmed - yes, they can kill. Ban them, I say. (And that website's general observations about shoes seem quite sound, though I don't really hold with black in town - there are more important rules, one of which is of course a total ban on Crocs).


  1. APEC: A Pointless Expensive Croc.

    World Leaders are gathering in Sydney, Australia to discuss the international banning of brightly coloured synthetic footwear.

    ASIO Intelligence Officers & the NSW Police Force are asking summer shoe fashion victims not to protest en masse.

    Inspector Stephen Irwin, an ex-Croc Expert and now NSW Polce Spokeperson believes this would cause an imbalance in electric fields.

    " Blimey, it could interfere with George Bush's security staff's communications." he said.

    Listen out for men in black shouting into their left lapels...

  2. But mine are so comfy, Nige, I couldn't possibly get rid of them.

  3. Chip, it is always possible - nay, all but obligatory - to make an exception for you.

  4. last time I was going under GA in hospital the prep room ceiling had paintings of different coloured balloons. I can't see how these shoes would affect the sense of professionalism in that case. I think they would have fitted right in.

    of course, if I had any say in matters, I would insist on 5-inch stiletto heels.