Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Real War is Back

First we had Russian bombers testing our defences, now Chinese cyberwonks are attacking our computers. (Pentagon geeks call these attacks 'Titan Rain' because they have been watching too many Bruce Willis films.) Call me a deranged sicko, but I find this strangely consoling. For those of us who spent most of our lives waiting for the Russkies to drop the big one, the years since the end of the Cold War in 1989 have been unsettling. One minute we were playing chess with the Kremlin and something slightly more complicated - mah jong? - with the Chinese, the next we were playing 200-dimensional roulette with a whole bunch of guys who didn't even know the rules. After that, squaring up to love God Putin or whoever runs China is something we can all enjoy. Bring it on, guys.


  1. I don't think Wing Commander Guy Gibson - or his dog Nige - would count this as 'real war'.

  2. I wonder if the new film will have Gibson talking to his dog Nige (pronounced Niggee, to get as close as possible to the original) thus: "Come on old friend, lets keep our chins up and chests out and meet everything Johnny Foreigner can throw at us with a smile and a hasty quip. I'll be taking the old girl up tonight for the big one and the rest of the boys will be right there with me. And after that, as we pass above, and you're deafened by those roaring Merlin engines, remember we're doing it for people just like you, Nige. And if I fail to return to give you your supper, you'll know that the crew and I have gone to a better place, but don't despair, think, in 60 years time, because of our sacrifice, the British will live in a truly free country where things really do work, where there is equal treatment for all, where children receive the finest education, where the hospitals mend all that is broken with friendliness and humility, where restaurant staff smile constantly and without expectation of a tip, and where our armed forces remain within our borders to provide a ring of steel which no intruder can penetrate. So, dear, uncomplaining friend, pass the word (as best you can-cos you're a dog) that we did it for you." All of the above is, of course, done to a background of Dah Dah Dah Da Da Da Da Dah Dah.

    But, of course, Nige is killed in the next scene, the message from Guy is never passed on, and that's why we're in the current mess. All because Nige, in his distress at the prospect of losing his master, couldn't see through his tears as he crossed the bloody road!

  3. Yep, I think that's about right, johntyh. Nige is such a faithful old labrador.