Monday, September 10, 2007

The Alien Abduction Caption

25 comments:

  1. Spot the One-legged Surfer Dude Competition.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Bryan Appleyard Celebrates The Opening of His New Hall Carpet.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Odour-Eaters - the original carbon footprints.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Right, well where did they leave the skirts and knickers?

    ReplyDelete
  5. Cobblers To Cobbling: After Interviewing The Last Celebrity On Earth, Bryan Had To Eke Out A Living Repairing Neighbours' Shoes.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Ah, the greatest closing line in TV comedy...

    ReplyDelete
  7. The Podophobics Self-Help Group meetings got off to a disasterous start...

    ReplyDelete
  8. Sandie Shaw Appreciation Society attempts to recruit younger generation.

    ReplyDelete
  9. This is because they're not called 'brothel creepers' any more.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Come VAT time, the Appleyard's wished they'd bought Bryan that calculator for his birthday.

    ReplyDelete
  11. (oops, errant apostrophe)

    Norfolk village roots out devil's spawn in annual toe count.

    ReplyDelete
  12. DCI Spencer, the Yard's expert on UFOs, reports '8 kids taken, 5 hiding under the bed, and 6 wearing crocs told to "bugger off"

    ReplyDelete
  13. Portugese detectives turn efforts to searching shoes after McCanns visit Nike factory to increase public awareness.

    ReplyDelete
  14. ''...as soon as Richard Reid gets here, we can begin the firework display.''

    ReplyDelete
  15. After hearing of Naipaul's gift of a hat, Salman Rushdie tries one better.

    ReplyDelete
  16. " Calling Occupants Of Interplanetary Clarks "

    pp,
    Karen & Richard Carpenter.

    ReplyDelete
  17. 'Latest delivery to Ian Russell as Caption Society of Great Britain carries out urgent review of policy that awards one pair of shoes for every ten postings'

    ReplyDelete
  18. Ian, your skills continue unabated! Love the Rushdie/Naipaul one. Of course, you're scaring the mediocre caption writers -- like me -- off, but s'okay. It's fun to watch you at play.

    ReplyDelete
  19. 'The abandoned shoes arrive at Dr Scholl's, but he refuses to turn them into heelys.'

    ReplyDelete
  20. Undercover cop was Slipper of the Yard

    Aliens "absolutely legless" claim abductees

    National Society of Amnesiacs stumped: unable to return forgotten shoes as can't recall who its members are

    "We can't go on meeting like this - I feel such a heel"
    "I love it when you let your laces down and look all soulful"

    ReplyDelete
  21. surely not, Susan! I will give it a rest then. I only do it because I can't afford one of those brain gym gadgets that Nicole Kidman advertises - you know the ones? I think they're dangerous anyway.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Ian, Brain Training is a fine distraction; compelling and moreish - though, disappointingly, it does not rate caption-writing prowess.

    As an aside, I note that Nintendo's advertising campaign appears to be hitting its target.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Ian, don't stop! I think they're hilarious and your captions raise the game for the other contenders.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Health and Safety Executive warn of the dangers of stepping on cracks in the pavement.

    ReplyDelete